Orphans - A Dog's Tail!

Good Morning Humans,

My name is Gladstone, although a lot of humans don't seem to understand this, no matter how much I tell them. "Stop barking," they say, and then go on to address me as "Hey Mutt", "Big Ears", and most recently, "HeadButt". Boy, are they stupid or what? It's Gladstone, everyone.

I'm an Australian Shepherd, commonly known as an Aussie. I'm not a sheep herder, I'm a dog. But you probably worked that out, what with the barking reference. Unless you thought I had a croaky throat. That would mean you also missed the mutt reference. If you did, you might want to consider going back to bed as it doesn't appear that today is going too well for you. Your mind is elsewhere. If you have to cross busy traffic or operate heavy machinery, you might just want to reconsider your options; perhaps rearrange your appointments and keep a low profile. Lying under the kitchen table with snout between paws my preferred method. If you don't have a wet snout or stubby paws you'll have to improvise.

Fimally a word about those stubby paws. I found that typing with pads instead of fingers is rife with difficulties. One time I managed to hammer seven letters at once, and I can never hold down the Shift key with catching the Ctrl key as well. To overcome this little local difficulty I've hired a secretary, Meredith, to tell my story, as I saw it, and how others have told it to me.