Letter to Barack, Hillary, & John

I sent the following email to the three presidential hopefuls. I'll give them a reasonable amount of time to respond - after all, there is the little matter of an election to worry about.

Dear ____,

More then 9 million animals are euthanized every year in the US. Deaths that could be avoided if politicians paid more attention to the desperate condition of so many American animal shelters and helped to fund their upkeep.

Millions of dollars are raised in taxes levied on sales of pet products. Animal lovers will vote for a candidate who they perceive will act in the best interests of abandoned animals.

What's your position on using tax dollars to directly fund the running of animal rescue shelters?

Politicians Never Talk About Dogs

I haven't had time to answer Gladstone's witterings recently because I've been closely watching the presidential election contest and wondering why politicians never talk about dogs. Why is that? Because they don't have a vote? Dogs are still constituents though, and deserve their barks to be heard.

More then 9 million animals are euthanized every year in the US. Deaths that could be avoided if politicians paid more attention to the desperate condition of so many American animal shelters.

I'm going to write to the three candidates and ask them what they intend doing about it. I'll let you know the outcome.

Dog Language

I've been teaching Meredith dog language. It's a bit like sign language for the deaf, but has a lot fewer signs on account of us dogs don't have fingers. We have to utilize all of our limbs and organs to communicate with other dogs and you humans out there. My friend Jonathan, who owns the shelter that I called home for a while, has it down pat. That guy is of superior intelligence. Merdith, alas, athough she is a sweeheart, hasn't quite got it yet.

Another Meredith Rebuttal

I've had a tiring weekend at the shelter and don't really need a litany of complaints from a dog wearing wire-rimmed glasses, a dog-toothed vest, and a Trilby. Okay, that's not strictly a true statement. I had a lot of help from Photoshop. Gladstone hates that picture. It's now in a frame on my bedside table.

Gladstone's Memoirs - A Progress Update

I've just got done with chapter three of my memoirs. Meredith complained that it's all about me. I explained that's why they are called MY memoirs. Sometimes you have to bark slowly when communicating with Meredith.

I bought voice translation software from ebay last week. The results were less than optimal. There wasn't a Bark option for starters. This is one reason why Meredith is in my employ. Believe me, if I had a choice.

Last night, over a plate of Winalot biscuits, I proof-read Merdith's transcription of chapter two and found several dangling participles. I know for certain that she's rearranged my sentence structure. When I pulled her up on it, she told me I was crazy. I doubt that the woman even knows what a dangling participle is, and this is a person who claims a B.A. in Literature!